I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
