Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
