we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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