Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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