you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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