I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
