Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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