I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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