at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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