either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
