i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
