I look better un-naked...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
