So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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