Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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