How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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