i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
