and i looked up. we had an audience...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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