oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
