All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
