So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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