what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
