The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
