Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
