I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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