dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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