Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
