they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she told me i tasted like america
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Randomize
