sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
