TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
