So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't turn off my feet"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
