quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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