I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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