so that wasnt chicken after all
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
