ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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