Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
