I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
