Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
soo... how was my night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
