But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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