So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
