You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So squirting runs in the family.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
