I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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