come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
