Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
