Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
this hospital has no fireball
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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