Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Houston, we have a squirter
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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