Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
