I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
