It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
