Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
