your room smells of hookers.
And success
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
