Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Alive.
So much puke
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
