great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i out mim tonsoeep
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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