So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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